Meine Mutti, die Amazone

Es war eine Zeit lang ruhig hier. Lag aber nicht daran, dass ich in Berlin war (die haben da auch Internet, habe ich gehört), sondern dass ich gerade einen genialen Plan aushecke.

Und zwar überlege ich, wie ich bei meiner Mutter den digitalen Hebel ansetzen kann!

Das tönt jetzt erstmal etwas anrüchig, aber eigentlich möchte ich meine Mutter nur ins Internet bekommen. Also, nicht die ganze Mutter, sondern sie soll da nur reingucken können, in dieses Internet. Und vielleicht reinschreiben, aber das ist Ausbaustufe 2.

Meine Mutter ist nämlich die Einzige, die nie etwas von mir mitbekommt. Weil sie einfach keinen Internetanschluss hat. Der Rest der Welt kann jeden Tag aktuelle Fotos von mir anschauen, mir auf 4square, Twitter, Facebook, G+ etc. folgen – nur Mutti sagt immer noch so altbackene Sachen wie: „Wann rufst du denn mal wieder an?!?“ (Und das sagt sie jedes Mal recht vorwurfsvoll.)

Nun ist aber das Problem, dass meine Mutter noch nie einen Computer in der Hand hatte. Ein Handy hat sie und kann damit auch SMS schreiben, SMS lesen und sie beantworten. Das ist aber, wie ich finde, fernab von einem soliden Fundament in EDV-Kenntnissen.

Worauf ich gar keine Lust habe, ist, meiner Mutter einen klassischen PC oder Laptop hinzustellen (Tastatur, igitt). Oder ihren Vertrag mit der Telekom so abzuändern, dass sie auch surfen kann. Bis ich ihr erklärt habe, welches Datenmodell/-abo sie da wie kaufen muss und bis ich sie von den zusätzlichen Kosten überzeugt habe, wird der Begriff „Web 2.0″ nicht mal mehr von irgendwelchen Business“spezialisten“ und Beratern gebraucht!

Also ist der Plan der: Ich kaufe eine Prepaid-Karte von Ay Yildiz und buche deren mobile Internetflatrate dazu. 100 MB Highspeedtraffic monatlich zum Preis von 5 Euro (danach Drosselung) sollten meiner Mutter anfangs reichen. Bin froh, wenn sie überhaupt was runterlädt.

Dazu ersteigere ich bei ebay ein gebrauchtes Samsung Galaxy der 1. Generation (so eines habe ich aktuell auch noch), gerne mit zerscheppertem Display (Hauptsache, die Touchscreenfunktion geht noch). Das kostet dann nämlich nur maximal 50 Euro und wird Mamis Liebling, äh, Hotspot. Das heisst, sie soll dieses Smartphone gar nicht täglich in die Hand nehmen und darauf umsteigen, sondern es einfach nur in die Ecke legen, Tethering an und das Ding permanent am Strom. Fertig ist der mobile Hotspot, auch wenn er nur daheim rumliegt.

Schliesslich noch das Endgerät: Da habe ich mir gedacht, ein Tablet ist intuitiver zumindest als alles andere. Damit das ganze Unternehmen kein finanzielles Desaster wird (falls Mutti doch nicht klarkommt), soll es ein Amazon Kindle Fire werden. Kostet neu nicht sehr viel (das ist mir Mutti grad noch Wert) und ich vermute ganz stark, die von Amazon haben die Oberfläche ihres Android so gut angepasst, dass auch Omma damit klar kommt.

Dann werde ich ihr noch ein paar SoMe-Accounts einrichten (möglichst so, dass sie niemals ein Passwort eingeben muss) und schon kann sie auch mal sehen, welche tollen Fotos der schönen Schweizer Berge ich ab und an schiesse.

Zu guter Letzt gehe ich dann nochmal alle meine Facebook-Einträge durch und prüfe, wo ich pubertäre „Meine Mutter“-Witze gemacht habe. Bei denen ändere ich dann sämtlich die Berechtigungen so ab, dass Mutti sie niemals lesen kann.

Da ich weiss, dass ich solche blöden Witze recht oft gemacht habe (und immer noch mache), bin ich dann wohl mal die nächsten drei Jahre weg.

285 Responses

  1. Kauf ihr dochn Smart TV, der isja dann auch gross genuch, damit sie dat Display vor lauter Wäsche wieder findet?!

        1. Christian nahm sogar per Internet (google hangout) am Geburtstag meiner Mutti teil. Nur zu Schade, dass die Tonspur irgendwie nicht funktionierte und Herr Achter nix hören konnte. Dafür haben wir aber auf dem zu vermittelnden Laptop eine lustige Urlaubsbilderpowerpointpresentation angesehen, die meine Mutti selbst erstellt hatte.
          Stimmt’s @Achtr?

  2. Bin auf das Resultat gespannt. Also, ob Mutti Achter dann auch wirklich internetzt. Weil ich sehe starke Parallelen zu Müeter Natischer.

    1. Icke bin ooch jespannt wien Flitzebogen. Vom 19. bis 26. Mai bin ich in Berlin, d. h. ich habe eine Woche Zeit, um meine Mutter an die Geräte zu gewöhnen.

      Diese sind per Post bereits auf dem Weg zu ihr. Vorher muss ich ihr noch Accounts für Facebook und Amazon einrichten, also auch einen E-Mail-Account. Mal sehen, wie man die Apps dazu auf einem Kindle Fire so konfigurieren, dass Mutti möglichst selten ein Passwort eingeben muss.

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